Aidan through 3 X'mas

It has become some sort of a tradition. To pose for pictures at the huge Christmas tree at Takashimaya.

Can't remember that Aidan was ever this tiny!

And a year later, he's become this big!

This is Aidan now :)






And I just just only realised, while writing this entry, that although the huge tree is the same every year, the decor is different every year! hohoho...

Aidan, an update

Thank you to many of you who have expressed their support when I was so worried about Aidan. I think it's time to give you all an update.

About a month ago, I brought Aidan to see a child psychologist for a consultation to see if intervention was necessary. We did a checklist meant to detect autism in children. It's called an M-chat. The result was thankfully a negative. He saw no red flags that could determine autism although somethings were borderline negative, such as the lack of communication, eye contact and affection. However he said that he is very obviously behind in the terms of speech development and because I said Aidan forgets words he had learnt and used previously, he's worried that there might be some kind of cognitive problems. So he recommended going for speech therapy and structured lessons, which we have been attending for a month. I am happy that the therapist did not think that Aidan needs further seesions for structured learning and that he's fine in cognitive development. So he will only be going for speech therapy for now. I would have stopped that too because I think it's kinda kiasu on my part. Afterall, he's only 2 and many people reported that it's normal to have speech delays. But I have already paid for 10 sessions ($135 per hour!) and I do think that it's helping alot. Besides, he enjoys his sessions very much.

I am also very happy to report that Aidan has gotten alot more affectionate these days. He hugs and kisses all the time. He does that not only to me but to all his teachers as well. He can call MaMa and PaPa perfectly now and it's music to my ears. Just last week, he held hands with his friends and walked together. He's blabbering alot which I hope is the beginning of mature speech. Now in his music class, he is also enjoying himself alot. He can now stay in class from beginning to the end without fussing. During story-telling time, he used to demand to go out of the room but now, he will go sit right in front of the teacher and laugh at the teacher when she makes animated sounds. The first time he did that, I almost cried for joy. Today, the teachers commented that Aidan is a very different boy from before. What an amazing transformation! All in all, I am delighted at the progress he has made. I look forward to seeing him grow and develop :)

Role as a parent

Kahlil Gibran’s famous poem in The Prophet.

Your children are not your children. They are sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls. For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow. Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams!
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

Not trying to seek justification for my relationship or the lack of, with my parents. But as I was reading this article posted on facebook by sgparents, I couldn't help but think how much I agree with this. I do not belong to anyone. My parents were merely the vessel for which I was carried into this world. It does not determine how I should feel towards them. That should be determined by how I was treated after I was born. Why am I indifferent towards them? Perhaps because they were the same way to me when I was growing up.

This is the main reason why I have chosen to be a SAHM. I told myself long ago that if I were to have children, I must not behave indifferently. Some people seemed to think I have to show my kids that I am close to my parents because if not, my kids will learn the same and in future treat me the same way. What hypocrisy! I will not put on a 'show' to tell my kids to treat me nice. I want to teach my kids to be honest with their feelings. I believe if they can feel my love now, I will be loved in return. As such, I will try my best to be present and involved in their growing up years and be as good a parent as I can.

But how can one be a good parent? It is afterall such a fine line between controlling and guiding, being critical and being constructive, doing too much/little and just enough, indulging and loving.
Read this article and hope to become a better parent. http://networkedblogs.com/p19384925