Aidan through 3 X'mas

It has become some sort of a tradition. To pose for pictures at the huge Christmas tree at Takashimaya.

Can't remember that Aidan was ever this tiny!

And a year later, he's become this big!

This is Aidan now :)






And I just just only realised, while writing this entry, that although the huge tree is the same every year, the decor is different every year! hohoho...

Aidan, an update

Thank you to many of you who have expressed their support when I was so worried about Aidan. I think it's time to give you all an update.

About a month ago, I brought Aidan to see a child psychologist for a consultation to see if intervention was necessary. We did a checklist meant to detect autism in children. It's called an M-chat. The result was thankfully a negative. He saw no red flags that could determine autism although somethings were borderline negative, such as the lack of communication, eye contact and affection. However he said that he is very obviously behind in the terms of speech development and because I said Aidan forgets words he had learnt and used previously, he's worried that there might be some kind of cognitive problems. So he recommended going for speech therapy and structured lessons, which we have been attending for a month. I am happy that the therapist did not think that Aidan needs further seesions for structured learning and that he's fine in cognitive development. So he will only be going for speech therapy for now. I would have stopped that too because I think it's kinda kiasu on my part. Afterall, he's only 2 and many people reported that it's normal to have speech delays. But I have already paid for 10 sessions ($135 per hour!) and I do think that it's helping alot. Besides, he enjoys his sessions very much.

I am also very happy to report that Aidan has gotten alot more affectionate these days. He hugs and kisses all the time. He does that not only to me but to all his teachers as well. He can call MaMa and PaPa perfectly now and it's music to my ears. Just last week, he held hands with his friends and walked together. He's blabbering alot which I hope is the beginning of mature speech. Now in his music class, he is also enjoying himself alot. He can now stay in class from beginning to the end without fussing. During story-telling time, he used to demand to go out of the room but now, he will go sit right in front of the teacher and laugh at the teacher when she makes animated sounds. The first time he did that, I almost cried for joy. Today, the teachers commented that Aidan is a very different boy from before. What an amazing transformation! All in all, I am delighted at the progress he has made. I look forward to seeing him grow and develop :)

Role as a parent

Kahlil Gibran’s famous poem in The Prophet.

Your children are not your children. They are sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls. For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow. Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams!
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

Not trying to seek justification for my relationship or the lack of, with my parents. But as I was reading this article posted on facebook by sgparents, I couldn't help but think how much I agree with this. I do not belong to anyone. My parents were merely the vessel for which I was carried into this world. It does not determine how I should feel towards them. That should be determined by how I was treated after I was born. Why am I indifferent towards them? Perhaps because they were the same way to me when I was growing up.

This is the main reason why I have chosen to be a SAHM. I told myself long ago that if I were to have children, I must not behave indifferently. Some people seemed to think I have to show my kids that I am close to my parents because if not, my kids will learn the same and in future treat me the same way. What hypocrisy! I will not put on a 'show' to tell my kids to treat me nice. I want to teach my kids to be honest with their feelings. I believe if they can feel my love now, I will be loved in return. As such, I will try my best to be present and involved in their growing up years and be as good a parent as I can.

But how can one be a good parent? It is afterall such a fine line between controlling and guiding, being critical and being constructive, doing too much/little and just enough, indulging and loving.
Read this article and hope to become a better parent. http://networkedblogs.com/p19384925

Happy 2nd Birthday!

Here's what greeted Aidan on the morning of his birthday.



Here's the first thing Aidan did when he woke. Tearing open his presents!

"What's this? I can't wait to find out!"

"Ooooh......I think I saw....."

"Thomas, my favourite steam engine! Thank you Aunty Miki" :)

"Waaaah.....another Thomas present. Thank you Aunty Amanda" :)

Trying to get to the Thomas stationery kit.

A look of fierce concentration and determination. "I must rip this paper off to reveal my next present!"

"Ooooh.....Another Thomas! Thank you Aunty Yuki" :)

Off to Gong Gong's house for lunch. Here's with Seth, his little cousin.

Aidan's very affectionate these days and very fond of kissing. I hope this phase last :) On second thoughts, they will probably hate me for this photo when they grow up haha.

Birthday cake from Emicakes. This is Mango although they are famous for their durian cakes. Has anyone tried their durian cakes?

Three of us.

Our Kiddos are TWO!

Time flies. They're two. Here is the first birthday celebration of their playdates, Anri and Ranielle, the two girls in the middle. Both of their birthdays fall in September so they hosted the celebration together.

Then last week, Ryo, Grace and Aidan hosted theirs. Ryo's birthday is in late October, whereas Grace and Aidan's are in November.

It was so difficult to get all 5 of them to look at the camera. Their respective mommies were all screaming their names all at the same time. Can you imagine the din we were causing in the restaurant? haha.

Grace, Ryo and Aidan, the birthday kids standing and leaning in, marveling at the ice cream cake.

This is like the best picture except for Aidan still looking down at the cake.

After that, they all went for water play. They were thrilled and sooo happy. Lovely to see kids playing and laughing with pure joy. You don't see Grace as she was "water-shy".

Aidan kept trying to hold on to the water like it's solid.

Still holding on as the water retreated. Silly boy :P

And I made this (on behalf of the other 2 hosts as well) for everyone to take home. Forgot to take a picture of all the frames together. It's now on my fridge and I hope the others have theirs on their fridge too :)

Aidan and Us at a wedding

Last month, we attended a wedding of a dear couple friend of ours at the Sentosa Amara Sactuary. It was a lovely wedding and a nice getaway from the main island. We even stayed over for the night, compliments from the wedding couple.

Here are some nice shots of Us and Aidan.

All dressed up and ready to go to the ballroom.

Daddy looking smart in his No.1 uniform as it was going to be a military style march-in. He said it's his last chance wearing it. Good thing there's such a wonderful occasion for us to take nice pictures of him in it.

Nice rare shot of Aidan not having his two fingers in his mouth.

One of my favourite shot with Aidan. Because he's leaning on my shoulders (he usually doesn't do that).

Nice candid shot of Aidan looking cute :)

Aidan, who hardly ever falls asleep anywhere other than in his cot or carseat, is knocked out here. I was very surprised he was pretty ok throughout the whole traditional chinese dinner and that we didn't have to return to the room early and miss dinner.

Look of pure joy

Want to know what pure joy looks like? Watch this :)

Thank You playmates

Just want to say thank you to Aidan's playmates. I am really grateful that Aidan has all of you to play with on a regular basis. For any child, especially so if Aidan is on the autistic spectrum, I think there is nothing more important than to have friends or siblings to play with. So I'm glad that Aidan gets to socialise and make friends at this age. So Thank YOU!

I'm an idiot. Literally.

He's alive, he's laughing, he's happy, he's healthy otherwise. Isn't that all that matters? =)

Worried sick. Literally.

Something's been weighing heavily on my mind for weeks now and especially the last couple of weeks, I have been worrying so much that I got sick and my digestive system went wacko.
Actually, I have had a nagging feeling about it for a few months based on my observation and a mother's instinct. As I read and found out more on the subject, talked to more people who have the experience, the more I think I could be right about my suspicions. I suspect, with good reason, that Aidan is on the Autistic spectrum.

The austistic spectrum is a WIDE one. Thankfully, if he is, he's definitely on the mild side of the spectrum. Let me state the reasons why I feel that he has mild autism, all of which are signs usually present in autistic children.

1. Aidan has few hand, finger movements/gestures such as pointing or waving his arms wildly. He started pointing more only recently, which is kinda late and when he waves, it seems like alot of effort on his part. In the past, when he was given shakers in gym/music class, he could never shake them much.

2. Even when really young, Aidan never really liked to be carried. He's always struggling to break free. He didn't even like cuddling in bed which is something really unusual for kids. Now, when asked for hugs, he will usually not come to you. But he's more into body contact now as he'll snuggle up to me in bed and likes to flop down right on top of me and just lay there. When watching tv on the sofa, he'll lay his head on my arm which feels really nice. One thing he had done only twice as far as I could remember, was resting his head on my shoulders when I carried him. It felt really good to me during those two times. It might seem insignificant and trivial to you but I'd give alot for my child to rest his head on my shoulders again. Sigh....

3. When he was younger, he could be left alone for long periods of time. He was also really non-fussy. I remembered a friend who has a DD saying that I must have alot of good karma to have such a good kid. I'm wondering so if that was a sign of autism, does it mean that I have bad karma then?

4. He has a high pain threshold.

5. He has little or no stranger anxiety.

6. He does not have strong eye contact.

7. Does not like showing affection. When you want to kiss him, he will turn his head away. If you want to hug him, he'll run away. He behaves like a teen, feeling embarrassed when his mommy tries to kiss him in school but it's really unusual for a young toddler to behave this way.

8. He is really extreme when he dislike something. Will scream and want to be removed immediately. For e.g. when sitting down in a circle for songs or story telling, other kids will enjoy this activity. Even when they don't they just appear bored and walk around the room. Aidan will however, scream, cry and throw a tantrum wanting to get away from it.

9. Late speech development. He doesn't even call me or his daddy. He has about 6 words in his vocab. The most telling sign is that he will forget words learnt before.

10. When asked questions like where is the cow, dog, cat, pig in picture books, he will not point to them. I like to think he knows them but it's a problem when he doesnt want to show you. Or maybe he really doesn't know and that would mean something is wrong with his IQ :(

11. He has never pointed to his nose! Unlike other kids, when you ask him something like where're your ears, he'll not show you.

12. Instead of pointing or telling me what he wants, he'll tug at my hands, wanting me to go with him to what he wants.

If you're familiar with autistic children, you'll recognise that these are symptoms present. I have made an appointment, as recommended by his paediatrician to see the developmental paed at KKH but the earliest appointment I could get is in Jan. The long wait is killing me! I hope that if there's a need for early intervention, I'd like to do so asap. I think I need help too. I'm worried sick. Literally.

DIY Wall Charts

The very hardly creative or innovative me suddenly had an idea to create my own learning wall charts. Maybe the idea was born out of me being stingy and unwilling to spend $60 on something that I don't know how long Aidan will use it for. (Yes, kids' learning tools are expensive! It's a very lucrative market as parents are really willing to spend.)

Here is an Alphabet chart from Growing Fun http://www.growingfun.com/

Here are materials that I found in Daiso, the store that has everything for $2.

Hanging Pockets. There are many sizes and different number of pockets on each piece. I chose this and hence I need 4 pieces for the 26 alphabets. Cost: 4 x $2 = $8

Then I found this alphabet puzzle. Perfect! Cost: $2

Staple or glue all the 4 pieces of the pockets to form a long wall chart. Then stick the alphabets on each pocket and there you have it! Total cost: $10 :)

Ok. I know you will think but this wall chart doesn't have the cute little felt objects to represent each alphabet. Well, I think right now, Aidan is still too young to know that those objects represent the first letter of their names. Right now, my goal is to let him get to know the alphabets first. When he knows his alphabets, then I will find cards (recycle those flash cards!) with pictures of those objects. E.g Apple for A, Ball for B.... for him to match and slot into those pockets :)

Another of my creation.

Number Chart from Growing Fun.

My own number chart :)

Heehee...I'm feeling very proud of myself.

At the Botanic

Another update from June. We had just bought Aidan the tricycle with a push handle. In futre it can be taken out and converted in to a tricycle. He was the envy of kids at the Botanic Gardens!

Does this look like some lost and forgotten garden? Very romantic and mysterious at the same time.

I love to take back view shots. Just look at the banner of this blog.

Daddy and Son

BANANAS!

Then we saw this Enormous St Benard? Pls correct me if I'm wrong. Aidan's there for comparison.

He's afraid to go near haha. Had to drag him there so I could snap a picture.

Drinking water out of a bag. Gosh, it drools ALOT too.