Role as a parent

Kahlil Gibran’s famous poem in The Prophet.

Your children are not your children. They are sons and daughters of life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you. And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts. For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls. For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow. Which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams!
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

Not trying to seek justification for my relationship or the lack of, with my parents. But as I was reading this article posted on facebook by sgparents, I couldn't help but think how much I agree with this. I do not belong to anyone. My parents were merely the vessel for which I was carried into this world. It does not determine how I should feel towards them. That should be determined by how I was treated after I was born. Why am I indifferent towards them? Perhaps because they were the same way to me when I was growing up.

This is the main reason why I have chosen to be a SAHM. I told myself long ago that if I were to have children, I must not behave indifferently. Some people seemed to think I have to show my kids that I am close to my parents because if not, my kids will learn the same and in future treat me the same way. What hypocrisy! I will not put on a 'show' to tell my kids to treat me nice. I want to teach my kids to be honest with their feelings. I believe if they can feel my love now, I will be loved in return. As such, I will try my best to be present and involved in their growing up years and be as good a parent as I can.

But how can one be a good parent? It is afterall such a fine line between controlling and guiding, being critical and being constructive, doing too much/little and just enough, indulging and loving.
Read this article and hope to become a better parent. http://networkedblogs.com/p19384925